evocative object

So,we had to pick an evocative object from our lives and write it on an index card today.

I thought of my bike and the trails, 

but there was another something that wouldn't be ignored. 

I couldn't stop thinking about my lost mystic topaz ring .

Synthetic, but That big bauble of a cocktail ring...too big for my fingers. 

I lost it the first night I ever went out at college. 

It slipped off my finger when I tripped and fell

2006, On a college lawn in Muncie.Indiana

early September.

I lost my only real piece of jewelry my mother had bought me at that point.

The silver was hammered and gorgeous.

I was hammered that night and not so hot.

I lost a lot of faith that night. 

Hell, I almost lost a lot more than just my dignity that night. 

I feel like if I just got back that ring I'd be a little more whole.

Fuck. 

Every time. Thinking about that ring makes me embarrassed, mad, and achingly sad. 

He said We could find it later. It had made sense at the time. 

I wonder if anyone found it. It's hard to imagine it not being found

(I hope it was, but I almost hope it's half buried and waiting)

It was gorgeous, and meant(means) a lot to me. 

I had just wanted to go back to my room. Didn't feel well.  That's all....

and I lost my topaz ring. 

.....gah. That's one object I'd like back. If there's anything I regret and would definitely change from Ball State.....it's that night.

I wish I still had that ring, and maybe then everything would have been alright?

No, definitely not, 

but I feel like If I could just hold it in my hand again

 Id look into the cabochon, 

its facets and feel relief maybe absolution. 

I was just a stupid little girl. I've never drank that much again. 

I should have been taken care of. I should have had some sense, but couldn't see past the 'cervezas' 

It was like a premonition for all that came after....

......But i'm good where I am. 

I just don't wear rings often. 

...I lose my breath just looking at that one. 

I don't mean to seem shallow.

There's just a lot wrapped up in that image. 

........and I slept through Lear last night :/ ...

Summer can't come soon enough.