How awful would existence be to discover we’re all only cogs in a wheel, with questions of Faith, Life, and Existence all falling flat at the feet of an insubstantial God? Or at least all of your careful realities unraveled in the presence of some unforgettable truth. What then matters more, Love, Subsistence, or Something more?
As we are revealed as base organisms turning time forward, where do our human constructions of thought, free will, and individualism find affirmation? Or are our intrinsic human qualities our subconscious design and meant to fit us exactly as we are? Does science and religion distract us or sustain us? How can mythology passed from mouth to mouth, hand to mouth, and diluted by human wants and motivations clarify humanity’s existence? How does our modern existence and distrust of authority provide us with a meaningful future i.e. something to believe in? How do all of our questions ever find some conclusion, or better yet, a resolution?
I believe our lives are the physical manifestations of all of our questions. Life has created a myriad of possibilities in the human race, progeny taking family wisdom and genetics to expand the solution to the equation in bloodlines. Each life is a chance at wisdom. Each life turns the wheel of time, but with the larger and more obscure goal of one day meeting the right variables to punch into a long awaited formula. Our right and responsibility then is to seek with all our heart the missing pieces that would make us whole. This is truly an infinite and cosmic struggle that we have belittled as selfish inward concentration instead of the drive to make life better. And then there comes the problem of expectation. What if the variables are bloody and harmful? What if some people are fulfilled by the terrible and cruel? What if we have created a world where such variables are the norm and it takes much strength to filter through the rotten for some true flesh. For some true flesh, how true.
I spin my wheels for all but a true bit of flesh and piece of mind. I give back to the universe what is given to me and hope that my life acts as my whole prayer. I live my life with right intentions not because I expect something in return in an afterlife, but because I hope that I am working towards my own improvement through experience and study throughout the breathes I currently take. I would like to be able to answer questions. I would like to feel stillness in my soul when I find my life heavy on Justice’s scale, but some people are better at inquiry than conclusions.
